She's really got it all! Yup I have heard it. Some days I have even felt it. But then there are those days that blow that idea out of the water. But this is not a blog about the tears or regrets; it is mostly about the fact that today I can laugh. Sometimes with irony, sometimes with a belly full of mirth, and yes some days with a tinge of heartache. But most of those days there is a smile. For life is complicated. Life is messy. But what a ride. So why did I start this new blog. It really isn't for you. If you enjoy it I am happy, but this is for me. Ok, maybe I better start somewhat at the beginning. My name is ?. do you think I am crazy...I am not telling you my real name :). I titled my blog "Well behaved Women...Really" because my first blog was "not so well behaved woman" and it just seemed to fit. Did I somehow get better behaved? Definitely not. But I do have an affinity with the phrase "well behaved women rarely make history". In fact every time I wear that t-shirt with that saying splashed across my chest, I get an array of smiles. However, it could be that a lot of people just like looking at my boobs and it makes them smile (well they are nice boobs if I don't say so myself...lol). Anyway back to my story. I have always loved to write. Well at least since 8th grade when my English teacher told me I had "talent" and I got my “glow on”. Now most of my writings have never seen the light of day and still lurk in the folds of every diary I have written since I was 12 years of age. However, I do have a few pieces of published poetry, a blog or two, and believe it or not I write "academic/research" style for a living (talk about killing the creative juices). Oh, I forgot one piece of "fiction" that was published last year, "Sex tips for the new university student". Did I mention I am 47 and 346 days. They wanted me for my "expertise" (I will let you chew on that one for another blog). But my writing has gone up and down. As with many of us "writers", we tend to need a good reason to write. Usually heartache, although my "travel blog" as I backpacked through Europe 4 years ago kept a few people entertained. So why did today I choose to start another blog. I think for me my blogs have represented periods of meaningful times in my life. Sometimes those moments are time limited (5 weeks through Europe) or my December Reverse Gratitude Calendar (31 days) and sometimes they carry on a bit longer (the year of finding out and then losing my best friend to cancer). I certainly wrote through the contemplation of divorce. I wrote what it was like to "first date". I really had no idea how to date as an adult since I got married the first time at 18 years (yes, I said first time, but more about those titbits are for another time). I have written through tears and I have written with a little bit of the "shit disturber" that I can be (I mean headlining your blog that you just got "kicked off the train in Italy" when you family is already is concerned cause you are a single “40 something” year old woman backpacking with no real destination, no reservations, and staying in hostels might say a little bit about me. So the real reason for this blog...wait get ready....CAUSE I CAN! Bet you were waiting for something profound. Nope. It is true. I love the words. My mind doesn't often turn off and the stories seem to swirl. My life is busy. I embrace it. I love new experience and I also seem to have that new experience just waiting around the corner for me. But man do I have questions and sometimes the only way to get over the life sucking for that moment or for celebrating a stir crazy event is to write about it. It is part of what makes me tick. It is something that I have managed to hold on to with all the ups and downs of my life. So as I write this I want you to picture me. I am sitting in Starbucks. I have 90's hits blasting in my ear. I know my head is bopping a bit to the music and my leg is tapping. I have a smile on my face. Do I have it all? Not a chance. But I have this moment. This moment that is making me smile. Just for this moment I am not looking to what tomorrow might hold. Just for this moment it really is just about today. And "by golly" I am going to write about it!